WTF!

Is the world against marriage?  Is the world against commitment?  Is the world against forgiveness?

I ask this because I had an appointment with my counselor today… He kept challenging me on why I was holding onto hope to save my marriage.  If I understood what reconciling would entail.  If I understood what life with broken trust would be like, and other questions like that.

Here’s the deal… I have no fucking clue what trying to reconcile will be like.  NOT ONE!  Does that mean I shouldn’t even try?  What the fuck is wrong with people?  This guy is supposed to be a marriage and family therapist, and his first instinct is to tell me that I can’t save my marriage?  That I should just walk away and let the divorce take place.  That because its going to take a lot of work and there is a chance it may not work, I shouldn’t even try?

For those of you who don’t understand what I’m doing, let me tell you this…

NEITHER DO I!

I have no clue what I’m doing.  I have no clue what the outcome will be.  I have no clue if my wife will even come back to give us a try.  I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE!

Just because I don’t know doesn’t mean it’s not worth the risk.  My wife is worth the risk.  My family is worth the risk.

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6 thoughts on “WTF!”

  1. You have been separated for over a year, and I am under the impression your wife has filed for divorce and had you served, which may be incorrect. Is she willing to join you in counseling? Does not sound like she wants to discuss the changes that could lead to reconciliation. I don’t think anyone is against marriage or YOUR marriage. However, she’s not expressed any interest in reconciling and is unwilling to work with you on the breakdown of your marriage, leaving those of us reading to the impression that you are being somewhat unrealistic in your hopes and expectations.

    Your counselor is challenging you because he’s trained to test your thinking, resolve, expectations. The path you are on is not easy; you have no idea what landmines are waiting if she would even agree to consider reconciliation. You’re operating on blind faith without a single admission from her that she might be making a mistake or harboring regrets about leaving you and your family. Of course he’s asking the hard questions, because that’s his job. Does not mean he’s not on your side. In this case, he is probably trying to create a plan to protect you from yourself she continues living her separated, on-the-path-to-divorce life. Not what you want to hear, not the hope you’re focused on. But he’s there to help pick up the pieces if your wife carries on with her present intention of ending your marriage.

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    1. Firstly, you’re correct in that she has filed for divorce and I have filed a response. Counseling was never an option as she was with the POS almost from the get-go.
      My hopes may be unrealistic… but then again it is not unheard of for reconciliation to happen even years after… so is it really unrealistic? I thank you for identifying the point of view from my counselor… I had not thought about it that way, so that helped.
      You are right, and I admitted, that I have no idea what the future holds… That does not change my hope for what I want tho… my wife and my family restored.
      Operating on blind faith is just another way of saying I’m hopeful, is it not? Thanks again. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I do shit every. single. day that seriously, makes no fucking sense! As long as its not hurting anyone (besides maybe yourself) – keep doing you! No one has to understand, shoot, you dont even get it… who cares. Its all about you and what you want and hopefully some day, what your wife wants as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I, for one, believe in marriage, believe in the commitment, believe in the reconciliation and forgiveness and there is no doubt that it would be hard. Your counselors questions should get you thinking but don’t let them break your stride. In my own search for truth, I know what level of work, effort and sacrifice I am in for and willing to make. My STBX however is not. I am similar to you in a lot of ways StandingMan. That is why I enjoy reading your blog. It is so much of what I am, have or will go through. So from one holding on to hope to another…. keep standing!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the support. It’s hard sometimes when it seems like everyone is against or at least refuses to understand what I’m doing… like there isn’t enough pressure and stress in just standing for my marriage!

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