So lately I’ve been listening to Marriage Helper Radio and Dr. Joe Beam. I REALLY wish I had found this resource sooner… oh well. Anyway, there are a ton of articles and podcasts for people like me who wish to save their marriage and who are victims of infidelity.
Why do I bring this up? Because I recently listened to a podcast of his title “Why should I stay married after my spouse’s affair”… and it hit home. My wife is a good person who is doing the most horrible thing she could do. But I still believe she is a good person deep down… I believe she will come to regret what she’s done to me and the boys… and I hope she will have the courage to ask for forgiveness and the strength to work through this mess so we can have the marriage we were always supposed to have and restore our family.
I saw her yesterday when I picked up the boys… she looked so beautiful. She really hasn’t changed (in my eyes) from the girl I fell in love with 17 yrs ago. We talked a little, but nothing serious. Not the best interaction, but definitely not the worst we’ve had either. She is starting to be a little more honest with me, which she hasn’t done since this all started last year April. She volunteered info on her traveling so we could make better arrangements for the boys to go to her next week. Normally she wouldn’t say anything or have her mom pick up the boys… so I see that as a positive.
I think the affair fog / limerent halo effect is starting to wear off… which is why she’s been more open to talking with me. In the heat of all of this, all coms were through her mom or text… she wouldn’t even pick up the phone to discuss our kids. It was a crazy time… glad that at least that part is over.
I know that none of this means she’s coming home… but as the hopeless romantic that I have always been, it does give me hope. I will always have that hope. My friends and my counselor all think I’m crazy… I’m sure some of you do as well… But that’s why this is called Standing Man… I’m trying to stand for my marriage… how long I will continue to get up after getting knocked down is a mystery to me. All I know is right now, I continue to stand back up.
Please continue to hope for my wife to wake up and be willing to come home. Continue to hope for me to have the strength to continue to stand back up, and, if/when the opportunity comes, to have the strength to walk with her while we reconcile our marriage and family.